I Am Not Forgotten

Forsaken is not your first name.

You are not forgotten.

You are not counted among the outcasts.

Unimportant, unwanted, unloved,

That is not how you’re defined.

Not needed, never mattered,

These are not words used when speaking about you.

You are not invisible.

The enemy of our souls would have you

believe you don’t matter but if you didn’t matter

and if no one cared about you,

why bother someone without a destiny?

Why?

Your purpose is still written all over you!

Valued, seen, heard

Strong

Able

Capable

This is who you are

God in you enables you to do

Great things

Mightily!

Weak legs

Arms that want to lose their strength

A mind without focus

Forgetful

and Falling apart

are just symptoms

Not who you are

You are His,

His Child.

His Creation.

He renews your strength

He restores your ability to move forward

He restores what you have lost

What I have lost

His promises are words I can depend on

So can you

I am not forgotten.

I am not forgotten

So, today I shall believe that His purpose continues

to be real for my life

God’s plan will be accomplished

Sickness and Infirmity have been evicted.

Disease and Depression must pack their bags and must leave.

The sign that says EXIT has been posted in my home

and everything that is not from the Lord must

go through that door.

My mind is restored in Christ

I am not forgotten

There is still worth and value inside of me

I am not forgotten.

Written by Angeline Duran Santiago

What’s Your Story?

Written By Angeline Duran Santiago

There are stories that are meant to be written, and some, well, they’re meant to be shared while others remain in the mind of the writer, the story teller, a narration of sorts, living inside the pages of the author who chooses to keep the story inside, and shared upon wings of a prayer to the Lord. For some, it is said that if they tell others their story, they’re sharing the pain that makes that moment real. In doing so, for many, it is either reliving the hurts of the past along with the joys, but it is where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to let someone else for just a moment see the raw and cut up places in the heart, and then what would they say? 

Some would say there is something deeply wrong with the storyteller and that serious and quick counseling is needed or that something is most likely very wrong with the person. Either way, who wants to open themselves up to be read and be left on the shelf, forgotten, for the next set of eyes, and for what? What benefit does the reader truly get from reading the cries of the broken hearted or the cheers of the one celebrating? They are not present and therefore cannot possibly receive any true gratification from entering the life of another through the written word. 

Life hurts. It is full of disappointments and rollercoaster rides that leave some exhilarated with arms lifted high begging to do it all over one more time, or it leaves the rider running for the garbage can or asking someone for a barf bag where they can release the after effects of that ride, amazing or horrible. It all depends on who the rider is on that rollercoaster ride and just what is going on inside of them when they begin moving forward and cannot get out. Sorry buddy. The ride has begun and it’s too late to get out. The ups and down begin, along with the swirls, the slow movement upward and then the quick downward spiral as if you’re flying straight out of the moon for that second, and your life seems like it’s going to be over soon. 

Life can be full of crazy moments. You make choices thinking of happily ever after to discover and discover it quickly that you’ve jumped into a nightmare without exit signs. Sometimes our choices in life seem correct and so full of beauty, but I’ve learned that roses are beautiful, and those same roses are filled with thorns. One must carefully handle them or know how to remove those thorns before touching one, or just admire them from afar. I learned that thinking someone loves you doesn’t mean the same and knowing you are loved and just because you give your love to another does not guarantee they will reciprocate the love. Life is full of the unexpected learning experiences and you and I are the ones living on the pages of a narration we wish we could control, we think we have some say over, and we attempt to live in such a way as to do what is right and live in a way that is worth the story. Sadly, many stories end before their time because it hurts to live. It hurts to be in the same room with another who is full of contempt and breathes hatred into the space you share. It is difficult to be around someone who changes constantly and one moment wants to do something for you and the next moment is adding one more day to their two month marathon of silence and angry stares. 

Perhaps, and I am no expert in any area of learning especially life, perhaps this is why God gave us the secret to surviving life and called it prayer. Maybe He knew and knows that we cannot exist and survive without coming to Him with our story, the parts of our stories that are too dark and too painful. He gave us the answer of prayer so that we could come to Him and cry before Him and leave cleansed of all the pain and all the darkness as we sit in His presence and allow His healing and his love to write our story in our cries to Him. I believe that God gave us prayer so that we would have a voice, an escape and a journey out of our crisis and into His throne room, a heavenly place where we can come without fear, no restrictions, no condemnation, no judgement, a safe place to be ourselves, to just be, and all would be, it is, totally fine.

 Absolute surrender through prayer to speak our stories, cry our stories, sing our stories or dance our stories before Him in our own way because He already knows our heart and minds, and He invites us to come before Him, lay our burdens down, before the audience of One, the heart of God. I am grateful for the stage of prayer, the curtain call of God’s presence, and the opportunity to be invited on to the arena of God’s heart where I can release my dance, and share my heart on the dance floor, and allow the music inside of me to tell my story as God receives each word and says, “I am with you my child. You are not alone.” 

I am in awe that the Lord would allow me to take the paint and move the paintbrush up and down upon the stage where I can paint the bruises that only He can see, and I can paint the heart that is bleeding with deep, dark reds. He allows me to cover the yellows with browns and grays because my mind is full of confusion and doubt. Then He comes and shows me that He is the Redeemer even of the strokes painfully and angrily pushed on the canvas. He comes and silently and lovingly introduces me to a new canvas and smiles, then says, “Start again.” I am in awe that when I’ve only felt choked up and couldn’t speak, the Lord would free the song within me, allowing me to raise my voice to heaven and sing my heart out. A desperate plea turning into praise and worship as my story becomes a place of healing, a place of surrender. 

We all have a story hidden within us and we all wish there was someone to know our story. Sometimes we need to speak it and other times, as I’ve said before, it remains deep inside the storehouse of our memories. It is then, I hope you come to know God’s plan and that sharing your heart with Him is the best way to write your story on to the wings of the wind. Let God carry your hurts, your mistakes, and all your heartache away to where His love begins the healing in your life. Learn about prayer. Prayer is God’s gift to us, where we begin our relationship with the One who loves us so much that He keeps a new canvas ready for the painter, a brand-new notebook for the writer and the musician, and a brand- new stage for the dancer. Prayer is a back and forth communication from one writer to another, from one artist to another, from one creator and composer to another. This is why He understands our hearts so well.

What’s your story? God’s ready for you to release the storyteller in you so that you may finally be free and live life, a victorious story, unafraid.

A Woman of God

There are many movements today, some old and some new, that are drawing attention to the way women are viewed and treated in this world. We speak out against the abuse of women, the sex slave industry, and the right to earn equal salaries as men do in the corporate world, based on our education and experience, not the gender their eyes see. There are some movements that are bent on lessening the value of men and attacking their manhood, their strength and their leadership. This is one of those movements I would never support because I believe in the beauty of a man’s strength, the different way he was divinely created and I believe in his responsibility to provide for his family. I write as a Christian woman who feels strongly about this. In my mind, the definition of a man is one who has been created in the image of God and set apart by the Lord to protect, care for, and love his family.

With all these movements today, there is one that remains silent and is rarely shared. It is the movement of men against women because they have chosen to their place when the men in their lives have not chosen to honor their God given role as husband and priest of the home. Scripture guides us and gives us a peek into the God centered home and what it should look like. Unfortunately, our homes have been beautifully decorated on the outside to have the appearance of godliness, but inside, there is division, brokenness and war. There are men who say they believe in the Word of God but use the words in scripture to humble, humiliate and break the spirit of the woman in their life and the children in their home. Men, who are up and down in their faith walk, believe in some scriptures but do not adhere to all of them. They find it easy to use words against you but there is never a word that says, “I am sorry. I will never do this again.” They walk around as if they’re right and the wife is wrong. Silence dominates the home and the woman’s attempts to speak or fix what is broken is met with the husband storming away, saying, “I’m not going to speak about this again!” or, “You’re going to start again?”

Many women movements have been started by women who at one time in their childhood or their life have witnessed and/or experienced the traumatic moments of abusive homes where a mother was mistreated, where the woman was not allowed to work, where the woman had to be silent and had no say in any matter of the home or the family, or where the daughter was abused and no one seemed to notice her pain. Abused and shattered women have joined other women to lash out against men. Their once silenced voices have joined with others to speak out and sadly, they’ve spoken against all men, when not all men have been the monsters in their lives.

We blame so many of these movements for their anger and their defiance and it is so sad that so many of them blame God. It is not the Lord who has caused their misfortune or the abuse. It has never been God who desired their pain and their neglect. It is men and even women who have not truly embraced the loving message of the Bible and understood that God’s purpose and goal for the family is to love, to honor, to respect, to speak life, to embrace, to hold close to one’s heart, and to push forward to do great things. Too many have been taught that scriptures give men the right to be bullies and this misinterpretation of scripture has led to so many broken home, families that might never be healed, and so many that have chosen to blame God for their hurt and will never want to hear about a loving God again. Because to them, a loving God has never existed. I am a witness that all men speak hurtful or mistreat women. The men in my family and many men I know are beautiful examples of loving husbands and men of God. I am drawing attention to men who have refused to honor the Lord.

There are many women who live in homes where they want a change. They live with men who belittle them, attack them with words and make them feel as if they have no worth. If a woman is educated, works, takes care of the house because the man won’t, and she goes out to face the world, she is told that she wants to be a man. If a  woman wants to have her home in order and chooses to lead because the husband is absent in every way possible even when he is physically present, she is told that she wants to be the man of the house. If the woman chooses to save money for an emergency then she is keeping secrets from the husband. Mind you, he has never chosen to save a penny throughout the entire marriage, but she is wrong in every way, always. Where is the man of God in this situation? Where is the man after God’s  heart?

As a woman of God, I do not desire to be a man, behave or function as a man. I know who I am physically, mentally and emotionally.  I love that the Lord chose to create me as a female. I am also grateful that the Lord made me strong so that I could face the challenges that come my way with a fearless attitude. I am thankful that the Lord has always shown me He is my helper, the keeper of my heart, and that as I trust Him, I am never alone and I am never abandoned. There is no desire in me to want to take over a home, a Christian home, where scripture teaches that the man is the priest of the home. Yet, I continue to walk as one who will serve the Lord with or without the leading of a husband, regardless if he chooses to truly consecrate his life to the Lord or not. I have chosen not to be moved by a man’s decision or lack of one. It is not my rebellion against men. I believe if a man wants to be followed and cherished, he has to reflect the God of the Bible that I have come to know. I believe the God of the Bible is loving, a warrior that protects those He loves, merciful, faithful, never a liar and always true. I see God as trustworthy, an encourager, a helper, one who gives strength, and one whose love is evident through every action. To me, the man of God who leads his home according to scripture is the man I would always follow. A woman should not respect her husband out of fear or forced duty but out of love and because she has chosen to do so.

If a woman is strong, loves learning, and has a mind to speak on all topics, this doesn’t mean she wants to be a man. This means she also was created in the image of God, with creativity, intelligence, strength, and gifts. If a woman has ideas, builds works outside the home, or inside the home putting up walls and flooring, this doesn’t mean she wants to be better than her husband. She also was created by a God who enabled her with gifts and abilities to do what we usually saw men only do in the past. The only reason you didn’t see a woman painting or hammering is because men only saw them as someone to cook, meet their sexual needs in bed, give birth, and take care of children. Had they allowed the woman to be who God always intended her to be, they would have seen early on that women were and are capable of great things, in the strength God has given them. I am not saying and will never say that we are equal in everything because I am vey aware that I do not have the same physical strength as a man. Yet, I am strong because I am a woman of God who has also been strengthened and empowered to do great things in my lifetime. I have been called to be an example to other women who may feel a desire to go to school or do something extraordinary. To that woman, I say, “Go for it! With God before you, you can do all things you put your heart and mind to do!”

You are a woman of God. If God is for you, who can be against you? You are not easily persuaded to follow the world’s standards and viewpoints because you have the mind of Christ and your eyes are set on Him, to live for Him. You are a woman of God.

I believe in a woman’s right to speak out, to vote, to earn equal pay, to be able to compete in the workplace, and to be able to be a leader. I don’t believe in speaking out against men or promoting any agenda to take away their worth, the greatness in them placed there by God to be leaders, men of their homes, and men of strength. I believe men of God can embrace their wife’s ability to work alongside of him to do great things for the Lord and their community. I believe men are called to lead their homes and also see that they have a wife that is capable of making choices, doing the impossible, and making her own personal dreams happen as well.

I am a woman of God, created by the Lord, and I am elated to be loved by my Heavenly Father. I cannot be broken. I will not be shaken. I am a woman of God.

Disappointment’s Lie

I have been blessed with your message today. I will forever see the word disappoint differently, not only in relation to Our God, but as a parent, wife and as part of a family. What a blessing. Had to share!

noizeology

disappointedSo, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?

If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. —Romans 8:31-34 MSG

DISAPPOINTMENT IS SUCH A HEAVY WORD…yet we struggle to carry it around in our hearts and minds. Why? Many are heavy-laden with guilt and shame because they’ve “disappointed” someone in some way; maybe even God.

To “disappoint” is to feel shame because you didn’t meet someone’s expectations…

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EVICTION NOTICE FOR DEPRESSION

 

By Angeline M Duran Santiago


Depression, Anxiety and Sadness 
have been served an eviction notice:


It breaks my heart to see someone I love, locked up and away in their thoughts because sadness, disillusion and surrender have embraced them on their journey. I see the S.O.S. signal coming through, but when I reach out, they pull back, unsure as if they’re waiting for someone else to help them off the sinking boat and I’m not enough. 

I see you.
I see your angry disposition because you feel life has let you down. So many have lied to you and for a while you hoped and you jumped for joy. Then, as if a marionette, they clipped your strings and walked away when you fell, broken to the floor, left alone on the stage. 
I see you ready to perform on that stage but the audience has covered their eyes and ears and cannot see the beauty I see in you. I see it but you don’t believe me.
I see.


I see your strength wasting away on your bed of disappointments, waiting for the phone to ring and bring you the news to make you walk again. You don’t have to wait for life to call you out in order to walk again. Here, take my hand and let me help you. Walk towards me.
Walk again. 
Walk.

I say this in Jesus Name:
This is an eviction notice to every tormenting spirit afflicting my family and friends, you have to leave, in Jesus name.

Depression and sadness, go!
Fear, anxiety, desperation and uncertainty, leave now!
Hopelessness, worry for the future, and lack, you’re dismissed!
Anger, self pity, low self esteem, quietly exit!
Lies, shame, words that were spoken to break you, belittle you, and hurt you, Get Out!
Discouragement, defeat and torment, vanish!

You are loved. 
I love you.
God loves you. You’re not alone.
I am on your side. 
Rise and walk again. Believe again. Go forward.
If God is with you, who can stand against you?

photo from http://scotthuffblog.wordpress.com/2012/10/11/rise-up-lostness/

God is in the small stuff. We think our big stuff is too big for him. If we give him the small stuff, we’ll see the big stuff was really small after all.

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